Watched the m...

Watched the movie "Iris" tonight.It is about a successful female novelist who devotes her life to ideas and language but in older age develops alsheimer's disease.The movie shows the slow deterioration of her mind up to the point where she has no lucidity at all.It is a very good movie for people in general to see I think because it makes you confront existence on a number of different levels. First off--I have never seen this happen to someone up close.My grandmother is at the beginning stages but she lives far away and when I talk to her she is still pretty clear--she just is more forgetful than usual.It was truly unbelievable how progressively Iris became a blank slate.Once she had so much life force and passion and then she becomes someone who stares at walls and is unable to make a single correlation between anything.It made me wonder where the soul lies.It was like her soul was taken from her yet her body was still alive and well.Are we simply our brains??? I don't like to believe this is true but what then of consciousness??? Did she go to another place??? This movie has definitely made me question where the spirit lies. In a sense--memories are the fabric of who we are.In Buddhist terms--they are the continuity of the soul or the flame that is not yet extinguished.In order to go on--one does not necessarily need reflect on oneself--but what then of growth and identity.If we change so much that we no longer identify ourselves--then we aren't the same person anymore.This is not a bad thing but what is disturbing to me is the absense of deep thought that is shown in the movie. Even moreso than this--is the confusion that takes place when the memory is not functioning.One moment could be blissful while the next is hell. It's like all of the dreams that we have during the night that we can't remember.What of them??? Perhaps all of us humans suffer from amnesia in this way.There is this rich inner life that we are almost completely ignorant of.We may awake with a few scenes or a vague aura of feeling that has just surrounded us--but it's like knowing that something--many things--are there yet we can't grasp them.We get the fuzz off of the outlines of dreams.Maybe some day we get to see the way they are colored in.We become whole. There is a story I read that describes the mystery in life a bit: The actress Lillah McCarthy describes how once she went in great misery to see George Bernard Shaw, just after she had been deserted by her husband: "I was shivering. Shaw sat very still. The fire brought me warmth...How long we sat there I do not know, but presently I found myself walking with dragging steps with Shaw beside me...up and down Adelphi Terrace. The weight upon me grew a little lighter and released the tears which would never come before..He let me cry. Presently I heard a voice in which all the gentleness and tenderness of the world was speaking. It said:"Look up, dear, look up to the heavens. There is more in life than this. There is much more." It is dreadfully easy to get caught up in one's own mind neglecting to acknowledge the vastness of life.It's easy to simplify and to trivialize because we are let down or do not get our way.All I can say for myself is that I have been extremely lucky in this life. I am indebted with gratitude to the heavens or wherever that so far I've been able to get some lessons out of this thing called life and hopefully I'll remain ever open to more--however painful or joy-filled they may be.